Time again for a post about the year passed and the year ahead. Judging from my title, yes, this will be a bilingual post. I've not written a chinese post in a long time! The last was I guess back in 2008! Time to pick up my chinese skills and get typing. Especially given how chinese-immersed I have been recently. Of course, being bilingual, I will translate the post to English at the end. This is not a contract so neither Chinese nor English takes precedent in intepretation purposes.
2012年一眨眼过去了！时间跑到哪儿了？！？！这一年，可说对我是有起有落，有欢有悲，有好有坏，有怀念，思念的，有想忘怀，丢弃的。就如我朋友说的：“你这年过得很激动”。说得很对。
2012的过程，认识了一些新朋友，有的比较熟比较常联络/沟通，有的就facebook常联系。常联络，感觉很窝心，有人可以聊天，八卦，谈不开心的事，发牢骚，开玩笑。。曾几何时，我和好友门念书和刚毕业时，还单身，常通电话，八卦，出来逛街。现在，大家都结婚生子了，也渐渐少联络了。有点感伤，但这就是人生，现实，要面对的。
2012的开始，我很期待。因为刚从完美，愉快的假期回来。因为度假时遇到开心的事和人。让我整个人开心起来，充了电的感觉。初始，还不错。事情似乎没什么不妥，工作还好。度假认识的朋友还保持联络，还到这儿逗留几天，挺开心的！没人来看过我呀！有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎！
2012上半年，我还是满怀期望。工作还好，虽然累，但是生命中有开心的事，有人分享，还觉得顶得住。事事难预料，谁知道，地心吸引力是永远没错的！世上没有全是好的！让我开心的人和事，在下半年和我翻脸。人不再联系，不再八卦/分享。事越来越遭，压力越来越大。那段时期，很不开心，很伤感，很沉，很想逃离。
可能也因为年纪，人比较容易激动，比较容易感触。突然，很怀旧。把以往的照片翻开来看（电子版），回想以前发生的事，看看以前的样子。还很窝心，会暗地里笑！翻开日记，从N年前开始重温。很感触。真的。读了以前写的东西，觉得自己真的长大了，思想变了。对以前发生的事，会后悔，会觉得可惜。读着读着，也感伤，眼眶贩泪。以前的我可能不会那么激动，但人老了。都又过了一个世纪了。我也重拾艺术，哈哈，一点点啦！以前喜欢画画，翻了以前的画本，还很骄傲！我其实是有才华的！只是没有推动力，没有艺术创意的动力。
我不是无动于衷的。我也有感觉的。我也是会哭的。2012年，是有哭的。心是会痛的。
2012 - 妈妈动手术，脊椎问题。手术成功，现在康复了。有一点后遗症，但一切都好。
2012最后一个季度，发生很多事。我瘦了。很多。数字不算大，但明显的开得出。为什么？工作吧？可能所有堆积的肥油/肉都消失了变肌肉！能力被质疑和攻击。不是直接的攻击，但旁人的对待暗示一些些。心情很不好受，被折腾很久，一直和朋友诉苦。心情低落到谷里。那时又有别的事让我心痛。真的哭了。躲在房里哭。哈哈，其实我也不是那么坚强的。
当然，2012不全都坏。工作带我到很多我自己不会去的地方。到美国购物疯狂！到迪拜，到德国找人，到中国重温上海梦，也让我玩的好开心！很上海朋友到化装舞会，狂派对，也认识了新朋友。也是有开心的。怀念到上海。
2012年也让我尝试了新的东西。第一次滑雪！辛苦呀！终于登上金山！好多次潜水的经验！万圣节舞会！当然还有我的年度旅游！这次，又是一个人。很不幸。而且是最后一分中决定的。2周前决定地点，1周前订机票。但，还是玩的很开心！
2013年 - 会是怎样？这年一开始，我就生病。挺严重的。发烧，颤抖，头昏，还差点晕倒。但是，新年我又出走了！菲律宾 - 沙滩，太阳，潜水！期待！听说，2013对人马座很好 - 爱情运，事业运都赞！哈哈，是这样吗？希望啦！听了就算，别太认真。姑姑不幸去世，很突然，没料到。真的愣了 。初期出殡，很心痛。看到婆婆强忍泪水，她的女儿痛不欲生，真的很心痛。我也忍不住哭了。
2013年，希望我不需要哭。希望工作上有突破。希望健康。希望我身边的人健康。希望有让我关心和关心我的人。多多中头奖！！！
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Phew, finally finished the chinese post! Took me a long time! Too much to say about the past, too much.. Now the English version.
Time really flies. I know it's a cliche to say this every year, but hey! Where did 2012 go to? It was just yesterday I started 2012, now it's 2013!! Oh and the end of the numbers game with regards to dates! Yes, no 13th month in a year so our generation - No more numbers game unless you can outlive your children!
2012 has been an eventful year for me. In both good and bad ways. Ups and downs, happiness and sadness. Good memories and bad recollections. Things to remember and keep, things to try to forget and throw away. My friend said my year has been a lot of turmoils. Very true.
2012, the journey. Kept in touch with a few friends from travels. Some stayed close through constant communication, gossiping, talking, updating about good or bad things, some through facebook contact. Made me think about my besties, when we were still in school, all single and free. We would always keep in touch, gossiping or go out to shop and eat. But now, they are all married and with kids, it's very hard now to gather like before. This is life. We have got to learn to accept it and move on. No matter, they are still my besties, anything they need help, I'll always be there!
2012. The start. I was all geared up to face the year, happy and refreshed from my great year end trip the year before. Having met great people, been through fun times. Work seemed ok. Friends from travels came to visit, which was fun and cool! But I guess all good things will come to an end. Towards the later part of 2012, things started to change. We used to talk/share/gossip on a constant basis, now no longer. Things have changed and the vibe between us is no longer. Things started to get worse, there was more stress. It was an unhappy period. I was hurt, upset. Wanted to escape.
I'm more emotional and sensitive now than ever. Age has got to do with it, I reckon. Hey afterall, 2012 is my big year! Stepped over to another era, another decade has passed! Was flipping through old photos from more than 6 years ago. Looking at them and marvelling at the changes through the years. To me, to my friends, to things. Re-read my diary from the past, wow, I have really changed! Both physically and emotionally! My thinking has definitely changed over the years! Reading the entries, the happy times, the sad times, lots of emotions welled up in me. I found my art book too! Used to love drawing cartoon figures. Realized I'm actually quite talented! Just don't have the drive to nurture it. Wow, imagine, I could have been an artist??
Surprise that I'm that emotional? Hey I'm not an emotionless creature. I may look aloof and tough, but I have feelings. Yes, I do cry. I've cried in 2012. I've hurt in 2012. Unexpected of me?
2012 - My mum went for an operation to correct a spinal issue. It was a high risk operation but necessary for her to enjoy a better life to follow. The operation went well and she has since recovered, albeit some after-effects. But it was a good thing we opted for the operation.
Last quarter of 2012, lots of things happened that impacted me. Lost weight, yes. Not a lot in terms of numbers but apparently it is obvious. Maybe work? But I'm healthy. I always say - "I've just lst my fats percentage and gain muscles!" My ability has been called into question, not directly but indirectly through words and actions of people around. It doesn't feel good. And it was torturous. Coupled with another thing that happened in my private life, I hurt. I cried. Alone in my room.
Of course, it was not all bad in 2012. Work took me to places I would never have gone otherwise. Trips to US brought me over the moon shopping - cheap cheap cheap! Dubai visiting tallest building, To Munich visiting friend. To shanghai to relive my shanghai dream, and had loads of fun with my friend there, going from party to party, club to club. Yes I desperately needed those at that time. Also got to meet new friends! I was happy doing those things. New friends helped me.
Also got to try new things and achieve dreams in 2012. First time skiing in Japan. Skiing is hard and painful! Finally scaled Mt Kinabalu after 3 years of NATO (No Action Talk Only). Halloween party after 5 years in Shanghai. Miss Shanghai now...And not forgetting my year end trip. Once again, I went alone unfortunately. A very last minute planning. Destination decided 2 weeks before take off, tickets booked 1 week before. Still, I had a great time and got to know new, fun people!
What to look forward to in 2013? The start was not good. Fell sick when I got back from Thailand. Fever, shivering, headaches, and blacked-out twice in 1 week! But I'm going to Philippines for 2 weeks of sun, sand, sea and more diving during Chinese New Year! So excited about it. Apparently, 2013 is a good year for Saggitarus in terms of romance and career. Haha, hope so! Horoscope! How can 10million people be having the same good luck?
2013 - My Aunt passed away from stroke. Suddenly and unexpected. No warning. Apparently she had experienced consistent headaches the week before. And just suddenly, passed away in her sleep. It was vey heartbreaking attending her funeral. Seeing how hurt and crushed my grandma was, standing there, insisting to be present on the last day even though she cannot send her off (the elder cannot send off the younger), seeing how crushed my cousins were. It really hit me hard. Tears flowed. At times, I couldn't bring myself to be close to my grandma for fear that I would break down seeing and sensing her sadness.
2013. Hope I don't have to cry. Hope I'm healthy. Hope there is a good development in my career. Hope people around me are healthy. Hope for someone whom I care for and care for me. Hope I strike ToTo top prize!!
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