Eat, Pray, Love

Ever watched or read the movie/book? Neither have I. But I guess the gitsh of it is Julia Roberts went in search of herself in Bali, Eat, Pray and Love. End of story. Simple as that. We've seen it in movies read in books but they are called movies and Fiction for a reason. Julia Roberts is one in a trillion. Now I've done the Eat and Pray to death, been to the City of Love, City of Lights, City that never sleeps, Land of Smiles, Land of thousand Islands, Land of Dreams, Conquered Mountains and kissed a sea turtle! Where's the love? Once, not too long ago, I thought I finally had it but he broke my heart, I was naive and stupid, and I spiralled into my own world of sorrow and tears for months, no one knew not even him. But I managed to snap out of it and close for renovation. Till someone comes to complete the job. Hopefully.

I seem to have delved into an early onset of mid-life crisis, going through my bucket list and looking at where I'm heading, where I want to be. My friends have always said I'm too adventurous, travelling to too exotic a place. Exotic is a relative word. Bali is exotic to someone who's never been to Asia. I've never been but heck, maybe Bali is the answer!Yea, just have to seriously psyche myself up to pack my bags and get my ass over to Bali... Adventurous? Neh, I just live in a slightly more conservative country. I like to say I've experienced life. My body has indeed been bruised and battered all too many times but I never give up do I? Come on, review the list of things I've done/ experienced in life:

The Bummer
Health scare - checked
Excruciating pain - checked
Busted knees - checked
Broken toe - checked
Twisted ankle - checked (thrice)
Chipped/bruised/no toenails - checked (too many times)
Got lost temporarily(on land and underwater) - checked
Thrown off a bicycle - checked (ok maybe I exaggerate, fallen off a bicycle on a slope)
Chased by barking dogs - checked

The Merry
I Flashed Koh Lipe/Sipadan/Koh Tao/Bajawa - checked
Mooned the camera - checked
Emergency quick ascent from 14M underwater - checked
Got merrily drunk - checked

Half braided my short hair - checked
Swam with whalesharks - checked
Close encounter with Thresher sharks and Manta - checked
Won an arm wrestling contest with a BIG GUY - checked
Dolphins swimming nearby - checked
Serenaded privately by a local - Frank owes me that!!! I fully intend to cash in the promise

Which brings me to my uncompleted 100th dive - not forgotten and Yes I'll do it naked like a diver! 2 months ago, I told myself I'm never gonna hit 100 dives this year when I was at the 86th mark. Then I went to do 20 in Komodo. Goes to show never say never! I've learnt my lesson :) 7 yrs ago I would have never thought I would dive so much! My buddies have all but waved the white flag while my passion only slowly burned and grew. Once I was a novice diver who went with 3kg knowing 2 was all I need, then one day a diving epiphany occured and I KNEW knew diving, enjoyed the tranquility of being deep down. There really is a truth in 'nothing matters when you are deep in enjoyment and passion'. I totally didn't feel the fresh wounds on my legs when I dive! I question myself - should I take one step further and get myself DM certified? Somehow I don't think I trust myself to guide. Would you? I pride myself in being good with directions. Proven on land. But underwater is a different world. What kinda DM would I be? Get excited about the big school of fish and abandon my divers to play with it! Haha take that! Then again, my divers would have the comfort of knowing that their DM doesn't really run the risk of being low on air!

Anyway what was my point? I think I'm too lost in my new environment, therefore my mind wanders and ponders about anything and everything.  Once again, the Nth time, I'm asking myself Who What Where When. Every now and then I find myself in this predicament. Especially so when I'm experiencing a change in my life or when I'm going through a whole lot of shit in my life. Everyone has their own shit, no one's shit is shittier than the other, me included. And Murphy's law always never fails to come true when the 1st load of shit happens.  So I googled the opposite of Murphy's law - Yhprum's Law - Everything that can work, will work.  Hmm doesn't exactly mirror Murphy's (it should be Everything that can't go wrong, wouldn't go wrong)  Cos if WRONG can work, then it will work, hence fulfilling both Yhprum's Law AND Murphy's Law right?

My lower back still hurts. Sucks
My legs are still scar infested. Sucks

So I'm not making a whole lot story in this post, more like random thoughts floating through my mind right now. This new environment is not exactly agreeing with me now. Normally it doesn't take me long to swim with new change, new people. IF I put myself into it.  That is when it gets me thinking - Have I once again made a mistake? SO tired of putting myself in situations where I do not feel like I've gained an advantage or be in a better position than before.  I was afraid of this when I decided on this.  Questioning myself "Did i make the right move", "Would I regret it", "I'm scared it's going to be wrong or worse".  And now it makes me rethink back to those questions and I'm really afraid that my answer would be YES.  And then I would go on a solo vacation again and say to myself - Why am I going back to work?

Why did I agree to put myself into the torture of commuting 1.5H to work and 1.5H from work everyday? 

I should stop updating my blog so frequently by ramblings.  It's a blog, not a diary :)

I miss the star-lit skies of Labuan.  I miss arak cos I only had a tiny sip of it!

It's still only the middle of the week.  Hang in there buddies... Long weekend next week!!