Sunday, February 11, 2007

In the end, it was inevitable

Tragedy strikes not once but twice (ok, the 2nd is not so much a tragedy)..

2 hits in one day.. How lucky can one get..

1st hit
My uncle passed away today from TB. Expected yet unexpected because he had survived through 4 near death experiences but gone through all 4. The last was the fatal one. It really makes one think hard abt life, how life is so un predictable...anything and everything can just happen like that, with a snape of finger. He used to be really strong and healthy man, family man no doubt, no hint of any impending illness. But alas, misfortunate just happen to befall on such a great man. 1st was diabetes, which wrecked havok to his family n the extended family. It made him weakend to a sad stage n unable to work to support his family. Apparently, his condition appeared to be better with time n the dialysis, but TB striked! N he was reduced to skin n bones (literally). It was a heartening sight which I still remember till now. Tears filled my eyes (n i'm not one who cries easily). It just melts my heart. To think that he used to be so fit n healthy, now reduced to almost useless, blind n unable to communicate. Just when everyone thought "hey maybe he'll make it through CNY", he passed away. Maybe it was for the better.. If it had happened during CNY, it might have been worse.

This makes one think hard abt what they have done with their life. Life is really unpredictable. U'll nvr know what is going to happen next or what future lies ahead of u. So what u can do now is to fully utilise every moment of ur life! LIve life to the fullest. Leave no regrets! Love ur loved ones with all ur heart, fulfil ur deepest dreams, do what u have always wanted to do (i think i still have no guts to do sky-diving), talk to ur crush, or end a meaningless relationship. Do what u feel u have to do, else u'll have regrets if you don't. My regrets? I think i have a long list which I need to slowly go through (hmm sounds like i'm influenced by "My Name is Earl", he keeps a list as well) I regret letting go of a possible beginning 7 years ago. I regret not studying hard enough in NTU. I regret not travelling more when I was younger. I regret not scoring an "A" in F-Maths. I regret, i regret, i regret... There are just so many regrets in life, u just have to deal with it. The best way? Fulfill it so that u have no regrets..

Which brings me to my 2nd hit:

I shall not elaborate much on this. Yes, this 2nd hit is one of my many regrets. Well, come to think of it, I should have known when it all started, but sometimes, when things happen, they happen for a reason and you just can't stop. Afterall, human beings have feelings. And sometimes you just feel "Hey, this might just work out". If you really put ur heart in it, u just feel that everything is possible, but reality is always harsh n opposing. It's hard, I know. I knew all along, but I just refused to put much thought into it, just because I had this small part of me thinking this might just work out (but a larger part thinking this is going to head for the other direction). Yes, we all know that this can work out n we've seen or heard of examples of such cases leading to a happy ending. But they are just a small portion of a larger sample size.

I'm not blaming anyone, n in fact noone is at fault at all! Things happen for a reason n I'm glad that it happened in the 1st place because it was great! U learn n treasure everything that happened and I sincerely do. It's just that it's hard to work things out with the physical distance being a major hindrance. Even if we put our hearts really into it, I don't know if it'll eventually work out. But that does not mean that everything stops there n then. Life continues & if route A is not meant to be, there's always route B n that might turn out to be the 2nd best thing!

Love is all about taking risks; the risk of rejection, the risk of heartbreak and the risk of falling in love and not being able to get out.

At least I have loved before, than to never have loved & be loved...

P/S: I don't entertain unnecessary questions at this point in time..Interpret what u read, do not ask..That's me in case pple reading don't understand..I don't like to answer or entertain questions

If you're reading this (not sure if u'll still remember my blog), just want to let u know that I understand. I thought it might work out, but in the end i guess it's really hard on us. Trust me that I really had a great time. But hey, we can still continue in route B!! N while u'r still here, we can still meet up for dinner or movie! Or go for a drink! We nvr did fulfill our sentosa outing :) If u'r having a birthday party, hope i'm invited or at least let me drop a gift.


meei ting said...

hey.. guess this is life.. sometimes things just don't go the way as we want.. part of growing up as well.. to face and accept things as they are..

but think you have a positive mindset towards it.. like wat u say.. live life to the fullest.. let's jia you to fulfill our dreams!! = )

-CieGo- said...

I still read ur blog.

DShan said...

Hey meei ting, thanks for that comment..I really need it:)

Diego, i know u still read my blog (it was irony which I wrote :P)